Subject: Introduction and
Aspirations for UCS1001-Critical Thinking and Communicating
Dear Professor
Blackstone,
I hope this letter finds
you well, my name is Steven Wee, and I am writing to formerly introduce myself as
a student in your module on Critical Thinking and Communicating. My journey in
Engineering began in Polytechnic with an passion for cars and the automotive
industry. Throughout my course of study in Polytechnique, my passion had evolved
and sooner or later, it had evolved to one for Arms Manufacturing during my
time in National Service after my graduation from Polytechnique.
However, despite the
change in interest, there were some notable strengths that I had developed
during my course of study, that being the ability in communicating thoughts and
other ideas. This skill proved effective, especially when undertaking
engineering projects or other group projects. However, I must admit that this focus
on factual communication often leads me to overlook and ignore the emotional impacts
that my words can have on others. This often leads to misunderstandings and feelings
of intimidation and discomfort amongst my groupmates and colleagues which often
results in me being perceived as rude.
That being said, I have developed
two specific goals for my participation in your module. Firstly, I aim to
enhance my ability to recognize social cues in communication. Because I believe
that this will not only help me understand what I say, but to be able to
recognize what are some words that would be better left unsaid so as to not
cause emotional discomfort amongst others, a skill I am keen on developing. Secondly,
I aim to learn effective strategies that will allow me to be an effective
communicator while being empathetic towards my delivery, especially in
sensitive topics.
What sets me apart from
others is my solid foundation in engineering. As a result of this, I am able to
dissect complex engineering problems and distil them into much more simpler
terms in a way that is understandable to others who may not have had a
background in engineering. This analytical ability has potential to reflect in
my ability to contribute unique insights to group discussions and projects in
your module.
With all of this being
said, I am excited about the opportunity to learn and grow under your guidance
in this module. I believe that the skills and insights gained in this module
will be crucial to my professional development, enhancing my interpersonal skill
and emotional intelligence. I look forward to embarking on this journey of
learning and self-improvement.
Best regards,
Steven Wee
Hi Steven,
ReplyDeleteI hope you're doing well. I enjoyed reading your blog post and learning more about you. I am giving you some feedback on your email. Overall, it was very well-organized and informative.
However, I did notice that the spelling of "Polytechnic" is inconsistent in the first paragraph. I am just bringing that to your attention.
Best of luck in achieving your goals!
Best Regards,
Brenda
Hi Steven, I really enjoyed reading your self-introduction email. It was well-organised and straight to the point. I enjoyed the part where you described your ability to break down complex engineering problems into simpler terms, and I appreciate your willingness to assist those with less engineering background. I look forward to working with you in the future!
ReplyDeleteDear Steven,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this detailed letter. In it you address the key elements of the prompt. For example, your explain a bit about your learning journey and your evolving interests, from cars to arms. At the same time, you describe aspects of your comm skills. In that regard, one point that you highlight is your "focus on factual communication" and how that might negatively impact the impression you leave with others. I'm not sure what you mean by this. Are you suggesting that you don't candy-coat information in certain contexts? This focus would seem to be a subset of the comm skill you mentioned In the earlier statement as a strength: "... being the ability in communicating thoughts and other ideas." Somehow you need to reconcile these counterpoints by explaining what the "factual" emphasis is.
In terms of language use, there are a few issues to take note of:
1. One area is the extensive overuse of caps.
-- ...your module on Critical Thinking and Communicating. My journey in Engineering began in Polytechnic with an passion for cars and the automotive industry. Throughout my course of study in Polytechnique, my passion had evolved and sooner or later, it had evolved to one for Arms Manufacturing during my time in National Service after my graduation from Polytechnique. > (At least nine words here are capped that don't need to be.)
2. sentence structure (fragment/verbosity)
-- Because I believe that this will not only help me understand what I say, but to be able to recognize what are some words that would be better left unsaid so as to not cause emotional discomfort amongst others, a skill I am keen on developing.
--
3. incorrect word use
-- much more simpler terms > ?
Still, you show mostly good fluency in this post. Thanks for the effort. I look forward to reading more from you this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Hi steven,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your letter and for sharing insights into your background and goals for the class. You are able to connect your background in change in interests to your decision strengths and weeknesses. However I have noticed multiple spelling errors on your writting. Overall, I enjoyed reading your letter. I look forward to a rewarding trimester